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Life in the MASK Lane

Today, I was headed to WalMart, routinely checking off my to-do list before walking out the door. First, I made sure my jewelry was in place. Next, I found my purse and made sure my wallet was in it. Also, I pulled out my makeup bag from my purse and began systematically putting on lipstick.


With a start, I remembered the time I had inadvertently puckered ugly lipstick stains on the inside of my mask. No use wearing lipstick, I reminded myself. Nobody will be looking at anything but my eyes, anyway. I put the lipstick back in my purse, thinking about how even our habits are taking a hit. I always put lipstick on before I walk out the door to go somewhere, but not anymore. I have begun to form new 2020 habits.

So…appropriately masked and unlipsticked, I went forth and shopped.

I’ve noticed that people don’t give direct smiles or glances anymore.  If direct eyelocks are involved, I’ve found most people smile nervously, scoot as far away as possible, and slide by me in the aisle before (gasp) I might try to strike up an awkward, mask-muted, conversation.

Other things that have changed: the way I check my ears after loops are on. I’d rather not look like Howdy Doody. I talk more loudly with a mask on, and appropriate expressions are impossible, thus shortening communication. Eyes  slice this way and that in suspicion, as if wearing a mask automatically makes us outlaws. If I’m distracted, and have accidentally left my mask in the car, I’m met with the evil eye and a convicting stare.

I, for one, am a non-judgmental masker. If someone wants to go without a mask, that’s their business. And no officious comments here, it’s my blog. Be nice. Not everyone CAN wear a mask. I hate the darn things because I cannot breathe and I feel trapped in them. I don’t feel pretty when I go out anymore, either. All that time spent making up my face wasted. The makeup takes a hit, and lipstick? Forget it. It’ll smudge all over my face. So, the end result is that it is less and less appealing to go out.

Also, have you noticed that we even judge each other’s mask habits now? Masks should be appropriately worn (fitted tightly to the nose and firmly under the chin), earrings should be outside the loops, not inside. Ditching the earrings is even better. (Can you say…androgynous? Yeah, I don’t want to inhabit a world like that.) And mask and outfit must be matchy-matchy. Entire conversations are now mask-related, and how they have become a fashion statement, which ones are better and why, etc.


This is no way to live. I was a holdout on even buying one until I actually won one in a Zoom meeting. Haha. The irony was not lost on me. So after that, I went out and bought another one.

After all, I have to match, don’t I? Plus, I don’t like the looks I get when I wear the disposable kind.

2020, you are getting your way. I’m positive this is not a good thing.

I look forward to the great unmasking. May it be soon.


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